User blog:Xenodrone98/Bill nye parody: Sea Dragon Leviathans

Wierd 50s horror music playing, an old black and white tv shows various clips of sharks eating people. Old narrator:"Sharks are the menace of the ocean, Lurking in the dark and coming out to attack." Shows a shark slowly swimming under a man swimming in the ocean. "Sharks are the most fearful creature in the ocean" (camera is at sharks view as it is getting closer and closer to the person swimming.) Sudden interruption, record scratch. Bill:"Or are they?" Tv suddenly is in color, and the head of the giant seadragon leviathan swallows the shark which was about to eat the person wading in water.

Bill nye intro.

Bill nye is standing on a stage with a projector and a red curtain in the background. All the rows of seats are full of precursors.

"Many Dangerous lurk on planet(###)" Bill nye says. Ominous music in background, shows multiple films of different hostile creatures. "But what if I told you (shows video of a reaper attacking a seamoth) that the reaper, isn't the biggest and baddest creature in the ocean." "Precursor's and precursors, the award for the most dangerous fauna...........(drum roll) Goes to Us!" Bill announces as he throws the trophy into the stands. Precursors make wierd happy noises as they bounce up and down. "Thank you, thank you," Bill says as he walks off stage.

"Studying the Sea dragon, is no easy task." Bill says in front of a precursor force field "Heh, Heh, Heh. But science is science, doesnt mean its safe." Bill chuckles. "To learn about this gigantic beast! Lets go to the lab!" Bill happily anounces. He puts his hand on the precursor artifact panel and the force field disappears. Suddenly he is inside the destroyed research fascility. "Sorry Bill" Narrator guy says.

Technical Difficulties.

The door opens to a precursor lab, many fauna are in blue forecield tubes. Bill:"The sea dragon leviathan is a large creature that lives deep underwater near the bottom of the Planet's crust." Bill Nye has an aquarium with actual lava at the bottom and a sea dragon leviathan figure hovering above it. (And water as well) "Unlike his smaller wimpy cousin (squeaking noise plays and bill puts a tiny reaper figure next to the sea dragon one.) The Sea dragon lives in a castle, (puts a tiny rock castle on top of the sea dragon figure) and grown many pertruding tentacles to allow it to move through lava!" (Shakes the sea dragon figure while making angry noises). "The sea dragon leviathan is bigger than an elephant, (shows a microscopic elephant) but feistier than a chihuahua. (Shows picture of the seadragon leviathan at a chihuahua family reunion.). So Fiesty in fact, that it broke through our research facility. And spreaded a deadly disease!" Bill takes a micro particle accelerator, shoves an infected seadragon figure into it, and blasts it across the lab and puts a hole in the wall behind him (an actual wall). Water starts to slowly trickle through the hole into the lab. Alarms go off and warpers on Segways come and shoot at the wall making metal appear over the hole. "The sea dragon leviathan's diet consists primarily on: Fools like Xenodrone98 (I slowly look at bill from around the corner of the force field to his back left.), Wasabi 1, And just about anything small enough." (Puts sushi into the figurines mouth).

Intermission: a message from sponsors:(I'm jokin, but if you want the visual version, go to this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sLwHisz8TU

Everyone has a tiny desk engineer these days. But that raises the question of how they are made?

Here at the tiny desk factory, engineers rub sandwiches on the Heavy's body to extract the oil (in other words jarate). A sniper then takes the oil and drinks it. And engineer and spy go into a room for two hours (the spy is sapping a sentry while engie tries to fix it, I'm just trying to degrossify it.) a demo man goes to the door and screams at it. Once the sniper has drank all the oil, he goes to a bathroom to create bottles. Then he makes bacon. Once the two hours are up. The engineer and spy leave the room and feed the screaming demoman the bacon. Then the engineers start to slap each other in the face with bacon, gradually slapping faster and faster. Then a sentry gun shoots scout in the but. When's the engineers hear that that means it's time to stop. The engineers then throw the bacon on hats and dance to make the bacon happy and the engineers sad. Bacon screams at the demoman while sniper punches the bacon. Now a tiny desk engineer has been created, what an interesting process.

Bill:" Sea dragon leviathans like all fauna here, don't just sprout out of the ground." Bill points at a sea crown growing at an abnormally fast rate. "They evolve from other creatures." Bill:"Here is our family tree of science!" Bill says and points to a tiny tree from the tree cove. "The leviathans all had a common ancestor" he points at a tiny gravestone that says:"RIP the tenth class". Bill:"the ancestor, which totally did not go extinct because of our meddling. This beast was massive!" Makes hand gestures and wierd stretching sound plays for a second. "Over time it left the lost river because of malnutrition." (Stomach grumble sound plays). "It split off into 3 leviathans." Shows the number 3 and then Gabe Newell's hand holding a marker crosses it out and puts 2. "The ancestor leviathan created the sea dragon(camera points at the patched up hole he made in the wall). The ghost leviathan (camera points to another grave stone that says:'Rest in development unwanted grandson') and the reaper leviathan!(starts playing its a dinosaur From Jurassic park and shows a clip of reaper leviathans flying off into space.)" The reaper leviathans couldn't compete with the massive predator brother, so they left." ( shows film of precursor cannon in the ILZ with a reaper leviathan loaded into it, the cannon fires and shows the reaper leviathan fly straight the molten roof leaving a slowly self patching hole.)

Currently at mah base.

Shows my base on the underwater island(when it was floating above water) From a 3rd person view, then you hear a scream as a reaper leviathan flies right through the ground and smashes my base to bits. Then the underwater island slowly starts sinking.(that's why it is underwater).

Okay, I make more a bit later now, I'm outa time.