Board Thread:Off-Topic/@comment-28435078-20170106035507

" Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep! Warning! The Hull Breach detected on port side has ruptured Buoyancy Capsule 1! " " I Know I Know Damnit! " I shouted back to the Seamoth's automated voice impatiently as I looked for the repair tools stored in the Seamoth shining titanium interior compartment." Where is the Welder!? " I thought in my head as I frantically searched through the storage behind the pilot chair. My Seamoth was plummeting into the darkness of the deep ocean trench. The front of the Seamoth faced upwards. I watched as the blue water from the sun shining becoming fainter and farther away. Darkness, fleeing air bubbles, and chunks of rock breaking away from the boulder stuck on the Seamoth's back port side like birds flying off a tree and into the distance. I could feel the sensation of my ears being crushed increase by the second. " Warning safe depth has been passed, approaching crush depth! Estimated time until Seamoth destruction: T-3 minutes! " The system warned me. My eyes widened and I stopped digging around the cluttered storage bin when those words came to my ears. I slowly turned around and looked at the control panel. All I could see from it was flashing red lights and messages of engine failure and crush depth. Sparks shot out of the control panel and the left side violently. " Come on! " I screamed in anger as I grabbed the manual controls with my hands and pressed my feet up against the round smooth bubble glass window separating the water outside from me inside my Seamoth. My muscles started to tense up as I pulled, my teeth clenched, eyes closed, I pulled on the center stick with every hope and desire to live in me. I opened my eyes and saw that all of my efforts had no effect.

I relaxed my body into the pilot chair and sadly watched my Seamoth plummeting deeper into the abyss. A sudden melancholy feeling of distress and despair flooded through me, extinguishing the spark of determination and hope. My throat dried as if I were about to burst into tears. I solemnly reached over to my right and picked up my half full water bottle. I sat there and imagined the clear liquid being replaced with some ice cold cola. I drank the water from my bottle without a care in the world about what was happening. I stopped and slowly turned the plastic cap back on. " Warning! Crush Depth has been reached! Ascend immediately! " I heard the automated voice say. I didn't care about it, I placed my water bottle back where I left it before. I didn't want to die this way, I don't want to feel the pain." I would rather take my own life than die like this. " I solemnly murmured to the darkness behind the glass bubble protecting me. I knew that I would never see my family again, but my time had come to an end. The end which I will chose how it happens myself. I slowly crawled out of the pilot chair and over to the titanium storage container. I pulled out the large black carton with red lines and a skull painted on it that said:" Bleach ." I faintly smiled and closed the titanium storage container. I sat back down into my chair and slowly unscrewed the plastic cap that was in the way of the end of this suffering. I raised it slowly to my mouth, cocked my head back on the pilot seat's soft cushiony headrest, and closed my eyes tightly. I slowly titled the container, I could sense the liquid coming to the brim. I could faintly hear the system murmuring a warning to me. I could hear cracks starting to split into the corners of the bubble cockpit as the water desperately tried to get inside my Seamoth. The liquid was starting to peak and almost spill over, a tear fell from my eye. Suddenly I stopped to think. I lowered the bleach away from my mouth and opened my eyes and thought. I thought what have I gone through to make me end up in such despair? Where did I go wrong?

" beep beep Beep Beep Beep! " I slowly dragged my head across the soft pillow and swatted around looking for the source of the pestering alarm clock. I finally padded my hands around the metal noise maker and I slowly drew up a fist. Then I calmly pressed the off button on top. I rolled off of the couch still wrapped in my blanket. I continued to roll and the soft blanket unraveled on the smooth floor. " Lights " I moaned groggily after just waking up. The room was still pitch black with an eerie silence. " Lights! " I shouted angrily and all of the lights in my room turned on. " Ugh " I groaned Groggily as I stood up off of the smooth metal flooring. I staggered over to the Fridge hazily as if I were trying to do the drunk shuffle. I bumped into the sharp corner of the hard granite counter and I shouted:" Ah! Ow..... Ah! Ow....." I tried to piece together what was in front of me inside the nice fridge as I groggily rolled my eyes around. I couldn't see a thing. My vision was very very blurry. I started to make out the nice outlines of the gorgeous fridge's colorful contents. The top rack only had ice cold glass bottles full of cola. I smiled contently and reached into the cold fridge to grab my delicious wake up drink. I stabbed my talon through the shiny metal bottle cap and pulled it off like a cork in a bottle. I stood there in my kitchen with my eyes closed and I chugged down the brown sugary soda. I started to feel a pleasant buzz in my head as my body movements started to regain its previous normality. I stop halfway in and opened my eyes. I carefully placed the transparent bottle near the edge of the smooth granite kitchen counter and walked to the bathroom how someone who hasn't had a hangover would. The gray metal door slid open and the lights inside the shiny white bathroom chimed on.

The water was running out of the shower head like a hose. I stood inside the shower surrounded by glass sliding doors. My fur was soaked with water and I brushed it a little so it won't feel so heavy. My eyes were closed and I was partially unconscious in enjoying the ambient sound of falling water, until:" Knock Knock Knock. " I heard from the door. I looked up and threw my head down and sighed. Then the knocking became persistent. The towel hung from the rack so I grabbed it and tried to get all of the water out of my fur. I then dressed myself into casual clothing as quickly as possible and left the nice bathroom. By the time I reached the close metal entry door the knocking became rapid fire. I punched the metal lightly to let whoever was knocking that I was awake and not dead. " What? It's 5:30 in the morning what do you wa- " I stopped as I turned my head away from the kitchen clock and faced the person behind making me cut my shower short. " Oh... Sorry about that Johan. Come on in. " I smiled to him. We both sat on the comfy sofa in the middle of the room facing the front door. We both stared at each other gesturing one another to talk first. " I heard we are getting a new assignment from Alterra! " Johan announced with glee, bouncing on the couch a little. My smile drooped and I raised my left eyebrow and gestured the " are you serious? " Gesture. Johan's happy expression quickly changed when he realized I wasn't too happy. " Roderick relax. This will be the last mission. " Johan reassured me. I sighed and replied irritated:" Johan... that's what they said about the Last assignment. " I reassured him angrily. I sat up and walked over to the kitchen to grab a fresh bottle of cola from the fridge. " You didn't finish that cola. " Johan told me as he pointed to the one sitting still on the smooth granite counter. I closed the fridge and grabbed the half full one and gulped down the rest of the soda. " It's almost the summer. That means I can finally go see my family again Johan. It's been a year! I was promised that I can go! " I angrily complained while shaking the empty cola bottle in my hand. " First Aftermath gets a Reboot with a shitty name like Aftermath Is Not Dead, or AIND. Now I have to do this assignment by Alterra. " I said angrily, I stopped for a second and noticed that Johan was staring at me in a strange way. " Forget the first sentence I just said.. stupid writers and lack of a series management. " I said to Johan. " Well pal, this will be the last assignment. I heard some rumors that this is a big mission. Maybe when we come back our faces will be on the news! " Johan announced with glee. " Sure, I'd rather not be identified by the news. After all finding furries here are rare, we only make up 2% of the country population. " I replied to Johan. " I don't understand what that has to do with the Mission. " Johan replied a bit confused. " What it means is that I think there will be some distrust. " I relied irritated. " Well, how about we talk a bit more about this some other time. " Johan smiled. " Ingenious idea. " I happily replied. Johan sat up and I tossed him an ice cold bottle of cola on his way out the front door. When Johan had walked out of my apartment room and closed the door I lazily slumped on the couch. Alterra could never keep their promises, they are like snake oil sales men. Alterra with their promises, using them to fuel us. This assignment better be important and not some clean up duty.

AIND, Aftermath Rebooted.... Chapter 2 coming very very very very soon.

Aftermath Is Not Dead. I am restarting the series, I remember the plot line, I plan on improving the writing before. If you remember the original first chapter intro, it wasn't as detailed, emotional, or immersive as the one you are reading now. I plan on enriching all of the old chapters, and new ones to come. Chapter one is now done! If I get access to the old chapters I can make a comparison thing of the difference between the new chapter one and old chapter one. So unlike before. I will have to literally post up to ten chapters in one forum post. So this post will be GIANT.

Actually, thanks to Squidy, I have accessed all of the old ones and saved them for reference. Here is the old intro:" '''Warning! Hull integrity low and falling. Estimated time of destruction in T -minus 1 minute' the seamoth systems alerted me. My seamoth was plummeting into darkness. I felt sick as the seamoth spun wildly out of control. I just sat there in the chair feeling melancholy. I knew that this was the end. I grabbed my water bottle and imagined it were wine and drank up. The seamoth control throttle was dismembered from the base, so all I could do was sit and watch. I didn't want too die at the hands of a damaged seamoth. I always said:"I don't want to let someone or something my life. I'd rather die in my own hands instead of their's." I eyed some bleach in the corner which I was going to make water out of. I reached over and picked up the bottle. I unscrewed the cap slowly with fear. Before I could chug it down I sat and recompiled my thoughts. How did I end up in this situation?"''

See the big difference? The new intro to chapter one is more emotional, immersive, and has more action

C:

 